its pretty great, since my dad has known that i have a girlfriend, he’s been throwing money that I should spend on her.
the lovely man just gave me 1000kr (around 200 usd!) for when she’s coming over this weekend
looks like we’re not exactly drinking the cheap wine this time around :3>
If we’re gonna put pleasures into good and bad categories, I don’t think I’d put romantic or sexual company in the good one.
I think that, like consumerism or addiction and stuff, sexual desire is more fueled by desire for the next thing than embracing the present.
Personally it’s more a satisfaction than a pleasure when you finally achieve something, affection or orgasm or intimacy.
When people discard simple pleasures to get down to “what really matters”. I think it’s odd that company of a mate is usually in that pool.>
I don’t know exactly why it’s so funny but this makes me laugh until my stomach HURTS
People realize this just turns the women’s room into an unsafe place where any man can follow her in there right, and that it just turns the rooms into men’s and also men’s because they are eager to take our spaces and be really gross about it?
Back when I used to try really hard to be a Nice Feminist who was totally fair to transwomen and open and accepting and all, I still had some concerns about things like that. So I tried talking to transactivists I knew about this.
This was like talking to a fucking brick wall.
I related, repeatedly, incidents in which fully male-identified, masculine, male-bodied men - aka no question whatsoever about them being men - deliberately invaded women’s sacred spaces with a smirk saying “oh hey babes I’m really a lesbian in a mans body so it’s all fine and good, let me in” and otherwise disingenuously using trans rhetoric to pry their way in. And I asked what standards we should have to separate obviously dishonest, intrusive men who were clearly not trans from invading women’s spaces and how we were to tell them apart from transwomen at any stage of transition who wished to attend in good faith.
And I got a lot of harumphing and hemming and hawing and equivocation (“How do you know that guy wasn’t really a transwoman who only just then had come out to you?” ….seriously?) and sometimes a lot of anger and accusations; but I never got a straight answer from any transactivist. Every qualification we could use to keep actual men out of women’s spaces was deemed too restrictive.
And eventually I realized the lack of an answer was an answer, and that answer was “You aren’t supposed to keep men out, ever.” We’re supposed to trust men to self-segregate themselves out of our spaces. Because trusting men works so well for us all.
Thus, the sign. Better to let men leer at and sexually assault women and little girls than risk hurting one single man’s feelings.
You do realize there hasn’t ever been a single instance in which a trans woman has groped , harassed, or sexually assaulted a cis women in public bathrooms. Yet trans women are repeatedly attacked by men in men’s bathrooms and attacked by women in women’s bathrooms.
Also men attack women in the bathroom often. A sign isn’t stopping an abusive person from walking in a space. A rapist is going to find a way to rape, and they need to be stopped. The rapists. Not the accessibility for trans women to facilities. You’re literally blaming trans women for the actions of shitty men.
Mario Morales-Herrera allegedly recorded a 10-year-old girl and a 40-year-old woman using the restroom at the library during two incidents separated by two years. Morales, 40, is alleged to have dressed as a woman to place a camera in a bathroom stall in Seattle, Washington. Washington State law bans discrimination in public accommodations based on sexual orientation,” which includes gender expression or identity. As used in this definition, “gender expression or identity” means having or being perceived as having a gender identity, self-image, appearance, behavior, or expression, whether or not that gender identity, self-image, appearance, behavior, or expression is different from that traditionally associated with the sex assigned to that person at birth. That law gives Morales a right to be in the rest room without being questioned. Morales is now charged with voyeurism.
It isn’t women’s fault that trans women are assaulted by men. Female-only spaces are important and dwindling. They are not meant to be a space for anyone-harmed-by-men. They are meant to be female, a specific class of people who suffer sex-based oppression and are subjected to harmful sex-specific socialization.
We are not blaming trans women, we are being cautious. Allowing any male into the bathroom, based on “identity” is dangerous. Males, under Patriarchy, are socialized to be aggressive, entitled, violent, and misogynistic. Trans women are not exempt from this socialization. Females have the right to organize free of male-bodied, male-socialized people.
Campaign for trans-only bathrooms or whatever you think will best protect trans people, and I will support it. But don’t campaign to abolish female-only areas, they are already being erased at an alarming rate.
Holy fuck no no no no no.
Trans only bathrooms protects no one. In fact, that only forces them to out themselves. I am SICK and DISGUSTED by the shit that I’m seeing in here.
Also, really? Fucking really? You know what, next they might be claiming that lesbians are a threat to straight women. That straight women might be raped or assaulted by some lesbian or queer woman or some shit like that.
So you found one instance. One. So because of that extremely rare occurrence you want to throw other women under the bus and be a fucking asshole and reject your fellow women for the sake of hiding behind fear and transphobia.
Here’s the fact. Anyone can be a fucking rapist or abuser. That’s not limited to men. But if you want to be a scared paranoid ass, then be my guest. But I think you deserve your own bathroom then. We’ll name it the chicken shit bathroom stall. Single stall just for you and all you other transphobes out there. Everyone else can have the other bathrooms because let’s face it… it’s pretty absurd to have gendered bathrooms when people rarely even acknowledge other people in there. Don’t even get me started on the absurdity of gendered single stall bathrooms.
So how about you get your ass out of feminism and find your own little hate clique.
this ^. we’ve got completely gender neutral bathrooms in the newer high schools here and I notice that no one has exploded.
Also we totally can’t have bathroom for every gender and sexuality combination out there. The future is totally in ungendered bathrooms. I think the gender split bathrooms are the only reason we’re connecting sexuality and bathrooms (apart from people with waste fetishes, obv).